There are some mistakes which I find unforgivable. I need my bike to get to work in a good mood. I have two, but I can’t use the other in the rain as it melts in its own rust.

imageRight Horrible Dave,

The country is well aware that many MPs have either their family’s or their own fingers in the many juicy pies of armaments as well as of private healthcare and associated provision; of private education; of private security forces & services: of all of the alternatives to the once-Nationalised services which our forefathers fought for and won for the people of this land, & which this government is determined to undermine and subvert. The pretence that these were not your intentions seems to be almost over.
Will you now declare that no one who has vested interests may act in any public capacity, nor speak -nor vote in Parliament- on any issue where their integrity is consequently directly compromised?

imageFrom Peru to Timbuktu;
To the Southern Territ’ries of Australia;
They’ve always wondered if it’s true,
Since we first scratched and sniffed
Our genitalia.

Did a sky fairy fart the first sea breeze?
Did his missus pee the seven seas?
Were all creatures formed from magic clay,
So celestial kids’d have a game to play?

Did a thunder-haired Ancient become his own son,
And raise mischief to show how thou will be done:
That the boss would have him butchered,
Tablet tabloids make up tales,
People start fights,
To hold seasonal sales?

So everyone could claim
Their Only Truth,
Stick their fingers in their ears
And blow the roof?
And is this the Great Purpose
For our splendid kind?
For all that’s worth
It screws my mind.